Stefanie Valakas, a fertility dietitian and founder of The Dietologist, has always had fertility on her mind – long before she considered egg freezing or fully understood what it might mean for her future. Diagnosed with stage two endometriosis in 2019 and constantly surrounded by fertility stories through her work, Stefanie knew her journey might be unique. When she decided to take control by freezing her eggs, she encountered unexpected emotional and physical challenges.
Here, Stefanie reflects on her experience, from navigating financial and social pressures to finding relief in knowing her eggs are safely preserved, and offers advice for others embarking on their own fertility journeys.
When did you start thinking about your fertility?
“Probably around age five. I was an only child and desperate for a sibling. I wondered whether my mother’s fertility was an issue for her and then began to wonder about my own. Safe to say, it was early to think about the ability to have a child from a very young age.”
What were your expectations before embarking on your fertility journey?
“Because of what I do as a fertility dietitian and nutritionist, I have been exposed to hundreds, if not thousands, of IVF and fertility stories. I almost knew exactly what to expect down to the absolute tee. People's stories and my experience in the area helping others through their fertility journeys really informed my expectations, as well as the consultations I had with my specialist and the fertility nurses.”
What did your fertility journey look like?
“In December 2019, I was diagnosed with stage two endometriosis via laparoscopy surgery after about five years of symptoms and misdiagnoses. I had my anti-Mullerian hormone (AMH) tested before and after this surgery, and all was looking healthy and well.
“My long-term relationship ended in September 2021 and I started contemplating egg freezing. In April 2022, another relationship ended, so I decided to book with a fertility specialist. I saw the fertility specialist in May 2022 to discuss my protocol and plan. It was a good time to freeze my eggs, particularily if I would require further surgery in the future, that could impact my egg count.
“In June 2022, I underwent pre-conception genetic carrier screening and found out I was a carrier for Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA), which further cemented my plans for egg freezing in case I needed IVF in the future for genetic reasons (not just my endometriosis or age). From May to October 2022, I prepared my body with the right supplements, food and lifestyle to support optimal egg health for freezing.
“I completed my first and (so far) only cycle of egg freezing in October 2022. I retrieved 16 mature eggs. I documented my experiences through Instagram stories, vlogs and podcast episodes.
“Today, I have no immediate plans to access my eggs – they remain frozen in Sydney CBD. I’m currently 29 and they’re 27, and I plan to try to conceive unassisted with my partner in the next few years unless we discover he is also an SMA carrier.”
Can you identify any moments during your journey that clashed with your expectations?
“My biggest hurdles were the decision to commit the finances to egg freezing with everyone telling me I was ‘so young’ – I had raging fertility anxiety because of my work and being single exacerbated it greatly – and the side effects of the medications, which surprised me a bit. After about day five of the injections to stimulate my ovaries, I was bloated, fatigued, brain foggy, had trouble urinating and my bowels were not happy with me either (reinforced by the ultrasound tech’s findings).”
What was the most surprising thing that happened to you during this time?
“I didn’t expect to feel sad and emotional in the process of doing injections. I thought I would feel 100% empowered the whole way through. But I felt alone, doing these injections at home all alone, and then ringing around to get someone to pick me up after my egg retrieval, as my parents were on holiday. It made me feel really single at the time.”
What was the best or most rewarding thing that happened to you during this time?
“The sense of relief I experienced knowing I had something there. I know it's not a guarantee, but it put my mind at ease and reduced my sense of urgency to find the right partner for the sake of my age and biological clock. I was able to focus on myself and what I wanted in a partner.”
What do you feel is the biggest misconception surrounding fertility?
“Where to begin! I think the concept that fertility is stagnant. If you conceived once easily, it’ll happen again or if your mum had an easy time getting pregnant, it means you will too. I think people don’t appreciate how truly complex and individual fertility can be, and whilst not all of it is changeable, some cards can be drawn that absolutely can be to play into your hand.”
What was the most helpful thing you did for yourself during this time?
“Not rushing into egg freezing that month after my specialist consultation. I preach about a 90-120 day runway to my clients as a fertility dietitian and I walked the walk. I committed myself to eating colourfully, boosting my omega-3s through fish and seafood and focusing on my exercise and pelvic health by working with an exercise physiologist, as well as taking my supplements beforehand to support egg quality and my future (maybe) babies’ health too!”
What advice would you give anyone who hasn’t yet gone down their fertility path?
“If you’re feeling anxious but not ready, know there are steps you can take to help manage that feeling a little better. For me, it was freezing my eggs. For others, it's future-proofing their fertility through diet, lifestyle, and environmental exposure. If you can have some autonomy over it, I find that really does help when so much of it feels at the mercy of ‘luck.’”
Disclaimer
This article is for general informational purposes only. It is not intended to be medical advice and is not a substitute for medical advice. You should speak with a medical professional if you wish to assess your fertility and before making any decisions about healthcare, including contraception.
